LIPS presents Americaâ€™s first NO NEWS NEWSPAPER!
THE TABULA RASA
Enclosed is your complimentary copy of Americaâ€™s most innovative, easy to read, universally appealing newspaper. THE TABULA RASA (it means blank tablet in Latin) will never upset you, never depress you, never stimulate, aggravate or irritate you. Why? Because TABULA RASA contains nothing!
As you already know, bad news is depressing. Good news (when it doesnâ€™t include you) is even more depressing. Gossip is dull. Sports is superfluous. Advertising is mind-numbing. TABULA RASA includes none of these distasteful features. We leave that up to Dan Rather.
TABULA RASA reads fast. Fater than the Tribuneâ€™s briefing page. Faster than the Sun Timesâ€™ capsulized news. Pick it up, put it down. You havenâ€™t missed a thing.
TABULA RASA has no hard words. You Ä¼l never feel inadequate reading TABULA RASA. And you wonâ€™t need a dictionary or an English major to explain the editorials to you. (Highly recommended for Chicago Public School graduates.)
TABULA RASA has no disturbing pictures. No exploitative sexist photos, no stupid or fuzzed out , eye-straining illustrations. Itâ€™s the only newspaper you can read in your sleep!
Why not discover the peace, joy and contentment non-news can bring! Start your subscription to TABULA RASA today.
TABULA RASA is now available in Latvia, Esperanto, Yiddish and Turkoman language editions. Please state your preference in no uncertain terms.
TABULA RASA â€“ Our motto:Â â€žNever a discouraging word!â€